Eekk! The oversized grey baby thing at the end. What is it going to do? And betting your life/time and the "casino" taking it in payment. That puts a different feel to gambling. Betting your life to play pinball. Good stuff. Thanks for writing and sharing it.
Wow! This is a super neat concept! Technology that saps your life to give to someone else, and a pinball mafia that lets you gamble for weeks of life? Never would've thought of this in a million years, I think this was great.
Loved it! Timeball (great title) is a compelling bit of flash that delves into the realm of speculative fiction, blending elements of science fiction and dystopia with a dash of your usual dark humour. The lifeline technology where people gamble their lives away in pursuit of more time is a wonderful trope, I enjoyed it in Supernatural and in a less overt way in the TV show Altered Carbon.
I was just saying at the ALLi drinks yesterday that horror often features strong moralistic themes. Timeball is an explicit example of this, we have the perils of greed, the consequences of illegal technology, and the moral decay of a society that allows people to gamble their very existence. These themes echo the classic science fiction tropes of a dystopian future, where technology has advanced beyond our control and ethical boundaries.
One of the most striking elements of Timeball is its vivid portrayal of the setting and characters. Given the limited word count, you really managed to create a tense, immersive atmosphere allowing the reader to really visualize the seedy underground pinball club. The character of Sammy is well-drawn, providing a glimpse into the mind of a character who, in his pursuit of more time, resorts to cheating the system. At first I thought he had a life threatening illness, so was gambling time he didn't have, but then they tested him for that. It might be worth giving him a motivation that is stronger than pure avarice to generate a stronger sympathetic connection with the reader.
From a world building perspective, I really liked the baby faced mafia. With all these stories you've written, you have many really strong supernatural or otherworldly elements and I'd love to see at least some of them woven into a shared universe.
Right... I've written more words on this review than I have on my own fiction, so I'd best get back to it! Whoops! 😂
I love the downward Sammy is on from the start of the story. His is the story of the gambling addict, and there can only be one destination for him.
I'm still rooting for him, even at the end, hoping that he'll come to his senses and make something of his life. But the odds seem stacked against him.
The story reminded me of the 2011 movie, In Time, where your remaining time is measured more precisely in a countdown display on the arm. I like Newton Webb's idea of giving Sammy a stronger motivation for gambling - increasing the stakes for him and the sympathy from the reader. For example, he could get news that his estranged child/sibling/parent (or other loved one) is in deeper trouble than him and he needs to pass them some of his time that he really can't afford to part with.
I love the concept and I feel this could expand into a novel length work. I'd love there to be some downsides/side effects to injecting too much lifeline and that it might also be an addiction that could lead to some interesting scenes.
Eekk! The oversized grey baby thing at the end. What is it going to do? And betting your life/time and the "casino" taking it in payment. That puts a different feel to gambling. Betting your life to play pinball. Good stuff. Thanks for writing and sharing it.
Wow! This is a super neat concept! Technology that saps your life to give to someone else, and a pinball mafia that lets you gamble for weeks of life? Never would've thought of this in a million years, I think this was great.
I think the ending works brilliantly - most sinister! I definitely felt satisfied as a reader.
Loved it! Timeball (great title) is a compelling bit of flash that delves into the realm of speculative fiction, blending elements of science fiction and dystopia with a dash of your usual dark humour. The lifeline technology where people gamble their lives away in pursuit of more time is a wonderful trope, I enjoyed it in Supernatural and in a less overt way in the TV show Altered Carbon.
I was just saying at the ALLi drinks yesterday that horror often features strong moralistic themes. Timeball is an explicit example of this, we have the perils of greed, the consequences of illegal technology, and the moral decay of a society that allows people to gamble their very existence. These themes echo the classic science fiction tropes of a dystopian future, where technology has advanced beyond our control and ethical boundaries.
One of the most striking elements of Timeball is its vivid portrayal of the setting and characters. Given the limited word count, you really managed to create a tense, immersive atmosphere allowing the reader to really visualize the seedy underground pinball club. The character of Sammy is well-drawn, providing a glimpse into the mind of a character who, in his pursuit of more time, resorts to cheating the system. At first I thought he had a life threatening illness, so was gambling time he didn't have, but then they tested him for that. It might be worth giving him a motivation that is stronger than pure avarice to generate a stronger sympathetic connection with the reader.
From a world building perspective, I really liked the baby faced mafia. With all these stories you've written, you have many really strong supernatural or otherworldly elements and I'd love to see at least some of them woven into a shared universe.
Right... I've written more words on this review than I have on my own fiction, so I'd best get back to it! Whoops! 😂
Nicely done - a neat blend of speculative and everyday technologies
I love the downward Sammy is on from the start of the story. His is the story of the gambling addict, and there can only be one destination for him.
I'm still rooting for him, even at the end, hoping that he'll come to his senses and make something of his life. But the odds seem stacked against him.
The story reminded me of the 2011 movie, In Time, where your remaining time is measured more precisely in a countdown display on the arm. I like Newton Webb's idea of giving Sammy a stronger motivation for gambling - increasing the stakes for him and the sympathy from the reader. For example, he could get news that his estranged child/sibling/parent (or other loved one) is in deeper trouble than him and he needs to pass them some of his time that he really can't afford to part with.
I love the concept and I feel this could expand into a novel length work. I'd love there to be some downsides/side effects to injecting too much lifeline and that it might also be an addiction that could lead to some interesting scenes.
What happens if you mainline too much lifeline?
Thanks for sharing your work.